I am feeling so much better this week. Allowing myself to release and deeply feel the intensity of the emotions I had been sweeping under the rug turned out to be a very freeing and healing experience; even though in the midst it felt very scary, sad and depressing.
I had a beautiful weekend with my family and found myself smiling at my round belly in the reflection of a store window as I left pre-natal yoga. I’m beginning to come to the awareness that this is most likely my last baby and to that I respond with a complete melting heart. My baby! This will be my baby for now and forever!
I think about how much Sol inspires me and how much Koala delights me. To imagine someone else to melt me feels really, really good. After having all sorts of feelings around this pregnancy it is a relief to feel like this will be not only be okay–but it will be wonderful.
Part of my clarity in moving forward is to prepare for this baby! I’ll be 34 weeks pregnant this Wednesday which leaves me anywhere from 6-9 weeks to prepare. As I’ve mentioned, our family has had an extremely stressful early spring and we are just beginning to find our flow again. I’m newly inspired to help guide and foster a rhythmic and soothing family home life again.
Blogging fits into this new rhythm, of course, and I’m enjoying it as a tool to center and process my experience. I will be continuing to blog here regularly, but I think I will be intentionally stepping back from the internet/media world in general. I want more time to get dreamy, get organized and prepare my home and family for this transition.
My plan is to post three times a week which will include a weekly update with my intentions for my week, a nesting series that follows my home preparation until baby arrives and a photo friday reflection piece. (And if anything else inspires of course I’ll throw it in the mix.)
You can count all of this as my weekly update and here are my intentions for the week.
Right now I feel:
Like I’ve gone through a little death. Parts of life are asking me to let go and trust in the power of transformation. There are parts of me that no longer serve my greatest purpose and I am ready and willing to let go so that I can grow and move forward on my journey.
I want to relate to my earthly & material well-being by:
Being open to the flow. I am willing to let go and mourn what could have been and instead focus on the journey in front of me. I am willing to allow laughter back into my life and give up any resistance to where I am led. As I put one foot in front of the other I trust my path will unfold in front of me.
My creative expression will focus on:
Paying attention to the natural ebb and flow of my family’s life. I want to notice the way rhythm works its way within and through us as a family unit and help guide that energy so that all our needs are met. I will use my creativity to help us align as a group and have our needs met as individuals.
I will focus my mind and intentions on:
The abundance in my life. My fridge and pantry is full. I have a beautiful home and a reliable car. We truly have everything we need to be comfortable and as I acknowledge this I feel content and satisfied in my life. I am truly blessed.
I will celebrate my spirit by:
Celebrating the juiciness of my fertility. As my body rounds I will find more ways to feel at home in myself: warm baths, nightly yoga, dance and extra pillows to sleep. I celebrate my ability to grow and nurture another being into life and acknowledge that this is a sacred time. There are only so many more evenings of feeling the strong kicks of this baby from within my womb and I want to honor and acknowledge the fleeting nature of this miracle.
I am moving towards a time of:
Frugality and wise money management. This is a precarious time for us as we rely on a new business for our income and have a new baby. I know that by making wise and intentional decisions about our finances we can make it through this time whole, joyful and with a sense of abundance.
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I think this is going to be a fantastic week! What about you? Any intentions/emotions/thoughts you’d like to share? If you’re so inclined I’d love to have anyone join me in weekly intentions.
These pictures are from an adventure we took looking for a young family of Great Horned Owls. Stone came across the nest and large, white babies on a run one day. We did not have a sighting: as a group we aren’t the stealthiest (or the quietest ;).