The last outing we had as a family before Ninu arrived was an after dinner swim at a little spot on the east side of the lake. It’s less than a mile from our house and the sun sets over lake. It makes us feel like we live at a lake house and we like that sort of feeling.
I had no inkling I’d be going into labor in 24 hours. After taking some pictures and watching the boys play and splash I took a swim myself. I’ve always enjoyed swimming while pregnant. It affords you that weightlessness that’s so impossible to achieve otherwise. I remembered visiting friends in Santa Cruz three years ago when I was seven months pregnant with Koala. It was my first time swimming in the Pacific Ocean and I spent about an hour floating and bobbing in the waves, talking to my baby and mentally preparing for labor.
Cayuga Lake might be nothing compared to the Pacific Ocean, but it was perfect for this pregnancy’s reflection. I floated and undulated and enjoyed the relief of the cool water and weightlessness it brought me. I thought I had another week or so before the baby came.
Instead, one week later I squeezed my postpartum body into a bathing suit I had no business being in and tucked Ms. Ninu into her first sling ride, her first car ride and her first field trip out of the house. Appropriately we ended up at the same swim spot except this time my little blue pearl was in her own body out in the world and my womb was empty. Stone held her while I took a swim and my body felt very different. Part of me felt empty and nostalgic for that last swim I had with her tucked deep within my womb. There is also a great sense of relief to move forward from the pregnancy and birthing phase of my life.
Right now I live in the space between.
I never want these fresh new moments to end and yet I’m so happy to be moving forward. I wish I could just stop time and live here for a little bit–just to bask in the magic that is here.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I remember that feeling well with my second child. With my first I was way too overwhelmed and confused. But the second time, I just wanted to hang in that spot with the newborn indefinitely. I wanted to be in-between.
Now I want another baby. Oh, the magic of it! Enjoy it. :)
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Jacob’s Hair =-.
Each stage is so beautiful. Many of my friends are having babies or getting pregnant right now & it causes me to recall all the magic moments of pregnancy, birth and those first moments.
Sounds like you are soaking it in!
@amber and tiny twist: I’m trying so hard! By far this is my most conflicted nostalgic baby moment so far. I think it’s because we feel like we won’t be having anymore and it heightens this whole experience.
blissful sigh.
Thank you for sharing your experience of these first days with your littlest one. We have one child and plan to have just one more, and I look forward to savoring those first few days with our last baby, days I imagine will be tinged with some sadness. I’m glad to hear that there’s some relief in looking forward, too….
Rachael, being that this third pregnancy was a surprise one of my first reactions was, “Oh no! I’m not ready to savor it as my last!” lol.
Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. I just was reading through your blog–great to meet you :)
After five months I still feel that way with our second/last. I am enjoying every moment so much more than I did with our first. It’s easier to savor it all. I bet with her being your third, you’re even more able :) She is so cute!
.-= Kelly ´s last blog ..Laughter into the Wee Hours =-.
Reading this makes ME want a baby, Hillary! It’s funny how those firsts can be tinged with the in-between feeling.
Sending many positive thoughts and prayers your lovely way,
Jamie
.-= steadymom´s last blog ..Im Bored- Mom- Unplugged Play at Home =-.
Loved reading these reflections. :)
.-= ~Tara´s last blog ..Nashville Nostalgia =-.
How should I pronounce her name? Is it like “Nina”?
.-= ~Tara´s last blog ..Nashville Nostalgia =-.
Well her nickname is Ninu (neenu :)
Thanks for asking.
just beautiful hillary.
i think this is why it is so important to honor the post-partum/babymoon time.
the next three months (the “fourth trimester”) are such a special in-between time and it is so easy to rush through it. you know to “get back in the swing of things” (especially when you have older children), but i think it’s actually really healthy to allow yourself to be a little ungrounded and move with all the shifting currents for a bit.
sending lots of love to you and your beautiful family…
xoxo
~erin
.-= exhale. return to center.´s last blog ..celebrating 10 years =-.
Erin, thanks for mentioning three months. That sort of blew my mind reading it b/c I already have that ‘babymoon’ is over type of feeling. I can keep that space though–thanks.
WOW! She looks so much like Koala, doesn’t she?
I savored every word of this beautiful post! *sigh* There is NOTHING like a newborn and I agree it goes by so fast….enjoy Beautiful Sister..
I love you!
.-= Kate´s last blog ..My Everyday Magic 07-09-10 =-.