March 28, 2008
Early Spring 2008
Just Me & the Kids
It was a glorious winter. Most people get the winter blues but Stone’s work is seasonal and winter is the time where we live our ideal life. No one has to rush out of the warm bed in the morning, we take turns cooking meals, we take daily hikes together as a family, and most importantly both Stone and I get a chance to have time to ourselves. We really are much better parents when our full time attention is parenting together. I see that the kids are happier too. They love having their super fun dad around and we are both more relaxed because our needs are being met.
Spring changes everything. New foods, new smells, thoughts of gardening, promises of warm weather, and……….. daddy goes back to work. Stone loves his work and he loves providing for his family, but he definitely loves living life with us better.
So it is back to full time mama. I miss my quiet morning tea with hot oatmeal served to me and the ability to take a shower whenever I want. I miss my extra writing time and my family hikes. I miss running out to the Co-op by myself to refill our glass jars with lovely food. It was my meditation. I use it as my quiet time to reflect on what I am grateful for as I bask in the abundance of organic oats and long grain brown rice
Mothering by myself is a new kind of meditation with new challenges. In some ways I am glad for it. It is the type of work that creates superwomen and when I find my flow and all of our needs are met I do feel like her. When I am at the end of my rope throwing my own kind of tantrum…..well, I like those moments too. It reminds me that I am alive and my life experience is a beautiful piece of art in progress. It challenges me set more intentions and wake up with a better attitude the next day. It dares me to take out all my pots and pans and simultaneously make dinner, homemade snacks and a meal to throw in the freezer!
I came into this life to be well, laugh and experience the range of human emotion. It turns out that living life with children creates just that intended effect!
(If you are at all wondering, we do indeed have a plan that will balance out parenting a bit more. Stone is just too fun of a dad to spend his days away from his beautiful boys and I have just too many great ideas I want to see realized!)
Early Spring 2009
I wrote this piece a year ago. I have been thinking about it a lot because I remember this time last year and the excitement of spring mixed with the sadness over loosing my “me time”. It’s not that I don’t love spending time with my kids, because I do. It’s just my personal experience that everyone is happier and healthier when the responsibilities of care-giving are spread out more evenly. Last year I was dreaming about having more time for myself and it seemed so far away and unrealistic. I had a new baby who nursed around the clock and I was in a new town without any relatives or friends.
One year later and I just spent the winter working part-time days on my vocational projects while Stone took care of the boys. The result is a happier dad, happier kids and a happier mom. Stone has started working again, but this year he is home for our midday meal (which also happens to solve our family dinner dilemma) at 2 p.m. and then I head out to do my work for a few hours. Everyone seems to really love the new dynamic and I find I am enjoying my mornings with the boys immensely. I have been able to give them my full attention and really immerse myself in the life of a hausfrau because I’m not trying to sneak in “me” time; I know it’s coming.
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
i know we are so much happier with justin home. even when he has more energy than we care to absorb first thing in the morning. ;) i can’t wait until he can be home more often. it does make for a balanced life.
~tara