Super Me, Super You, SuperMom

This past week was amazing. We (the kids and I) spent last Tuesday through Friday out on 350 acres of land (affectionately dubbed ‘The Farm’ by the family who owns it) with a group of homeschooling moms and their kiddos (of all ages). We just took it easy and communally prepared meals, took care of the children and did the work that is life. It was rewarding to share time communally and for me, it was also a time to reflect and reassess within myself. I was surrounded by a half-dozen supermoms, all authentically mothering the way that works best for them (and their children) and they all did it completely different. What was similar amongst us all was the foundation of respectful parenting and there seemed to be a commitment to parent creatively; finding out-of-the-box solutions for those day to day parenting challenges.

Valuing Different Parenting Styles

I watched, with keen interest, the different parenting styles that interested me. The way G. knows how to keep the show on the road, providing nutritious meals and keeping everything organized and flowing. I was inspired by the way A. balances the fine art of being laid back and letting her kids run free, all the while staying on point and tuned into where she was needed and how she could help. I liked how J. used a calm melodic voice to call her kids from across the field and how she showered them with loving language and continually returned to optimistic views of the situation at hand. I tried to capture the essence of all the mothering techniques that felt empowering to me and I consciously filled up my bag of tools with new techniques and skills. I was reminded to laugh more and let the kids be kids, rather than expect them to act the way I want them to act (which I do sometimes). I humbly acknowledged areas where I could use inspiration and help, leaving mother-guilt out of it and instead moving to act from inspiration. Just like my kids, I’m infinitely learning, growing and evolving.

Appreciating the Challenges of Parenting

I was also privy to see the unique challenges each mother faced during her time at The Farm. The times when their kids got hurt, melted down, became angry or was having a hard time sleeping in a new place. I watched how each of these amazingly dynamic kids had their moments where they were rude, hurtful and or internally struggling with feeling left out or overwhelmed by the energetics of the group. I was reminded that even the best of parents are still navigating life with their autonomous children and let’s face it–we don’t have control over them. Our children are dealing with the full range of human emotion: disappointment, extreme joy, rage, compassion, jealousy (to name a few). They are exploring the world through their emotions (which are never wrong) and we are helping them find outlets of healthy expression. What a challenge! I watched the same supermoms, who were deftly parenting their way through our retreat, find themselves challenged, exploring their own emotions of frustration, anger, and confusion in relation to their children and how they were reacting within themselves, with the group and in essence, with the world at large.

Learning Together

Seeing these moms, who I respect immensely, vigorously challenged by their children at times, somehow comforted me as I realized I still consider them superstars. They are still doing right by their kids and in the imperfectness of our being, we are all doing the best by our children. The comfort came from allowing myself to be the student as my children ask me to grow and stretch, and instead of focusing on how I feel inadequate as a parent, I can rest assured that I am still a great parent and move on, learning all the time how to be a better parent to my children.

I was stretched and loved and supported as I too explored my personal range of supermom to ‘who knows how to handle this situation’ mom. By day we were hiking, swimming, treasure hunting, bike jumping and experiencing Summer in her full glory. We spent our evenings by the fire, drinking wine and eating local chocolates, belly laughing, passing fussy babies and listening to each other stories.

Here’s a little photo journey of our adventure.

Tagged as: kids, parenting, retreat, supermom