I’m having a baby and some amazing bloggers are here to share their …infinitely learning… moments with us while I nest, birth and babymoon. This post is from Nicki.
How do you respond to the question “how do you do it?” I have to admit that I hate the question. In my life, it generally comes from those who find out I am the mother of six children. Once that number is out there, someone in the conversation will ask some form of the how question. The problem is there is not a set way.
How do you raise six kids? How do you love six kids? You just do! As with any parent, I do what I have to to make my children know they are loved and wanted. I help them to make the most of their decisions while trying to let them make the actual decisions.
On top of doing what is needed at any given moment, my lifestyle and parenting style may not work for you. What I would do in any given circumstance may not blend with what you and your parenting partner want to do.
Do I allow my children to have cell phones? This issue was a big parenting question when the cost of phones came down some time ago. This issue still is big for most parents as the age when children want a mobile device is younger and younger. My solution is to purchase pre-paid cell phones for my children while they live at home. Others put their children on their mobile plan. There are pitfalls to both solutions – texting limits or not, use of the phone for parental communication first and foremost – but each works for the family that chooses it.
Another common problem arises when parents begin to get pressure to potty train. There is something about the term “train” that has always bothered me. Teaching a life skill is what is happening so I guess parents are training but I have seen those who are so set on this happening at a specific age that the only training is of the parent. I had no problems realizing that my children would learn to use a toilet when they were ready. Yet, I succumbed to pressure – disguised as training pants as second birthday gifts to the twins – and started the twins down the path to the toilet before they were ready. The result was a really shiny hardwood floor in my dining room from urine being mopped up all the time. The frustration was all mine and the diapers soon went back on the twins.
So, to all you parents out there, I leave you with the biggest piece of wisdom I have come across as a mother. Trust your instinct in this area. Do not worry about what others do or say.
Nicki is a freelance writer and single mom of six. You can read more of her life and parenting at www.nickisnook.net.