Today I’m participating in the Ultimate Blog Swap. You’ll find me posting over at My Super-Charged Life about “Breaking Out of the 9 to 5 with Kids in Tow”, and I’m excited to welcome Jennifer from PJs Til Noon to …infinitely learning…
My title may be a tad misleading. I was on the tail end of being a mommy when I started blogging. But I’m keeping it. I think that’s called Creative License. ;)
Here I want to say, please read this with a touch of snarky sarcasm. I’m never 100% serious, unless of course the situation calls for that. Then I’m all serious all the time. (See?) I’m guessing this will be about 80/20% serious/snark.
I remember the day that I realized I wasn’t a mommy anymore. It was a heartbreaking revelation. My children are 15, 12 and 10 now, so the baby hasn’t used the word “mommy” in a few years now.
I tried to coax him back into calling me Mommy, but it didn’t stick. My kids grew.
And while I loved loved loved the baby days and sometimes yearn for those simpler times (don’t kill me, looking back all previous times seem simpler, right? I know baby days are hard, y’all), I’m loving having nearly self-sufficient people in their place. They get my jokes, are loving my music, making their own sandwiches, showering. What’s not to love?
Now don’t get me wrong. There are challenges. There will always be challenges. I’ve learned this. And I offer that to you for free.
Let me give you examples.
I’m teaching my oldest son to drive. “Brake, brake BRAKE!!!” has become part of my daily language. And the heart palpitations, well, they just get the blood moving. But I want him to become a responsible driver, who’s courteous and cautious. So I’m now watching every move that has become second nature to me and trying to translate that to a spaced out 15-year old.
The same 15-year old who broke his hand in a fight on the bus. Defending his sister. What do you do with that? I know you can’t fight your problems out. Violence is not the answer. On the other side of that coin, the kid who was picking on my daughter is very nice to her now. It’s all a big jumble of right entwined with wrong that somehow worked out in the end. But fighting’s still no answer.
And then there’s my middle school daughter who (let’s be honest) loved every minute of her brother defending her. She told me it made her feel safe. She is secretly obsessed with Justin Bieber, but she hides it because other people make fun of it. I want so badly to give her my “who cares what others think” attitude to help her through these rough teen years when body image becomes paramount and popularity reigns supreme. I am trying to get her to see that more than just thin and perfect is beautiful and boys are not to be trusted. Seriously. At all. But I’m trying to avoid locking her in a tower, too. So it’s a fine balance.
And then I have my 10 year old who is still a kid. Just a kid. Not a teenager. He still likes to play with army men. He plays baseball, basketball, football and loves to climb. I don’t think that will change, no matter what age he is. And the running. Taking him to practices, games, events. There are times, it feels like that’s all we do. But I always have a book with me, so it’s all good.
It just seems, the older they get, the busier we get. And because they are older and maturing, the emotional (good and bad) fallout can be big. They’re learning to think for themselves. They’re learning more responsibility. They’re developing their sense of humor. They’re realizing the value of money. They’re growing in our faith. They’re like mini-adults.
I think my biggest thing now is to help them become the best person they were meant to be while embracing the fact that they ARE the person they were meant to be. We don’t become people when we register to vote. They matter. They will have a voice, an impact on the world one day, whatever that looks like. And I think that’s our goal as parents, no matter what age our kids are.
But most of all, I want them to know that they have a home, a safe place, no matter what.
And yes, I will blog about every bit of it.
That’s what Mom Bloggers do.
Jennifer is an official ‘Mom Blogger’ who you can find over at PJs Til Noon.
You can view all the blog participants by visiting The Ultimate Blog Swap.