Date Night, Stage Fright.

We haven’t had many dates in the past few years. Two little ones under the age of five, just having moved to a new city and our personal parenting choices to breastfeed and co-sleep does not lend itself to either ‘date’ or ‘night’ and forget about trying to put the two words together. We take complete responsibility for our choices and we have amazing amounts of fun adventuring as a family, but…… once in a while it’s fun to get dressed, put on a pair of dangly earrings and stay out past eight.

So we did it! Josh Ritter, one of my favorite artists, came to play at a venue within walking distance of our home and we asked a couple we know if they would watch the kids. I feel so blessed to have Fishman Phil and Heidi in our lives. They inspire me all the time to live closely to the earth’s rhythms and live a crafty, inspired life. They live in a yurt without electricity and can usually be found hiking and foraging for edibles, hand sewing a back pack, making baskets out of foraged fibrous plants or bark and honing their primitive skills. Heidi teaches kids primitive skills at after-school, homeschool, and summer programs and Fishman Phil helps people install natives into their yards and restore their yard’s eco-system using the wisdom of permaculture concepts. My kids couldn’t be more impressed and I completely understand and agree with their stance of admiration.

It was a rough afternoon. J. Stone was finishing prep for a stone wall he is building, I was trying to clean the house so our friends didn’t see the chaotic mess of our everyday life and the kids were incredibly clingy and needy. I knew they were picking up on our vibes and could sense we were leaving. Kids are good like that. I became fearful that this might all blow up in my face and hence we created date night stage fright. I think I took half a bottle of Rescue Remedy as I tried to convince myself that this was all good, normal and I would have a much needed night out on the town with my man.

I was expecting Koala to cry when we left (shame on me) and Solshine to be awake when we got home, but to my surprise, we walked out the door with both boys smiling and Koala practicing his new wave out the front window. We returned to a quiet house, both the kids were sleeping! K had fallen asleep on Heidi’s shoulder and Solshine asked to go to bed saying, “I think I’ll take a little nap until my parents get home.” (insert jaw drop)

I can’t tell you the relief this brings me. It’s gutsy making parenting decisions these days, when seemingly every parenting guru contradicts the other, and especially since our personal beliefs tend to be on the fringe of the mainstream. I have had many people tell me that encouraging and practicing attachment parenting would lend itself to clingy, needy and dependent children. In my heart I know this isn’t true, but it still feels wonderful to watch them grow and step into more independent situations with ease and joy.

It’s the day after and mom and dad have a little hangover and the kids are happier than ever. Life is good and I find myself full of gratitude for the community that allows us to grow as a family. I think this situation definitely falls under my “everybody wins” category.

(One last note: being the primitive superstars that they are, Heidi didn’t even blink when I handed her a ec’ing one year old. I forgot to mention anything about it and she did have to navigate a “miss”. Thanks Heidi!)

Tagged as: attachment parenting, babysitting, date, date night, family, friends, Josh Ritter, kids, parenting